saints & sinners
by fall from stars
Summary: COLLECTION—Both of them are lying, and that’s what brings them together in the first place. [KarinxNicolai.]
1. Liar's Rosary

**A/N: **'ello to all of you in the _Shadow Hearts_ fandom! Matinee Idol here, offering up some KarinxNicolai, because they're amazing and should be canon but, woefully, are not.

So I'm really not sure how this is going to work. This little **Saints and Sinners** thing was supposed to be this nice little one-shot, until it started coming in fragments. I could have either frustrated myself to oblivion and tried to still continue it as a one-shot. Or I could take the lazy way out and do drabbles.

Guess which one won?

So this is essentially my first dabble into the _SHC_ fandom. If anything's off whatsoever, tell me! I still haven't finished the game, so I'm probably missing a few important character building things, though I know how it ends. (Remember the Battleship Mikasa? I've been stuck there two months, even with walkthroughs. WOE.)

Also, this is for Remi, who I blame my entire madness for this pairing on. If she had not given me this game, I would not be writing this right now, wasting my free period doing things that are unproductive. Unimaginable. I love you, Remi. :)

So, without further ado, sit back, relax, and tell me what you think. Review if you're so inclined—I'd like to be better at this.

**Saints and Sinners**

**I.**

**Liar's Rosary.**

Karin Koenig and Nicolai Conrad both wear crosses at their throats, a brand to the world that they are baptized, fed, and confirmed in the Lord. Theirs is a religion of sinners and saints, and while they stray, they go towards the light whenever they can. The crosses say that, but the world doesn't listen and tends to look instead. Hers is large and black, framed by silver, dangling above the standard-grade military shirt at her collarbones. His is small and gold, more a status symbol than anything else, but a handsome and rich one nonetheless.

She wears one for the sake of her mother, who is long-dead, but who feared for the safety of her daughter, a lieutenant in the German army. It is a promise she intends to keep, and she can promise herself or anyone else anything. She trusts the world, even if her privates tell her it's a stupid idea. But they're younger than she is and they grew up differently than she has. They know nothing about her and what she's planning, and she intends to keep it that way.

He wears one because it's a prop in this drama of a trick, the ultimate deception. Deep down he remembers his beliefs, the ones his mother told him before the pneumonia took her. His beliefs are uncomplicated and not full of stupid, illogical things like souls and damnation and hellfire. He has lied to the Church when his loyalty belongs somewhere else, and the Russian sorcerer in the shadows is all to blame.

Both of them are lying by omission if nothing else, and the eighth commandment told the God-fearing races: "_Thou shalt not bear false witness_." And that's what brings them together in the first place.


	2. Damned Light

**Saints and Sinners**

**II.  
Damned Light.**

Karin is afraid of the darkness. She only admitted it once, as a child, and her mother always assured her that nothing was wrong with it. A lantern burned in Karin's nursery, small and bright, as if she would soon grow out of it.

But even now, when it's childish to be that way, when it's definitely not a military attribute, Karin needs a light in the darkness.

Apoina Tower is_ full_ of haunted darkness, crammed with mad ghosts, mourning royalty, things Karin cannot and will not think about.

Every corridor looks the same and there seems to be no way out. Karin is feeling so very lost, and the feeling settles somewhere in her stomach, acidic, warm, biting at her.

Apoina is the embodiment of every nightmare, the pain of every soul, and she can't look at it even with wide-open eyes.

Nicolai is on guard here, his back straight, his eyes peering into the darkness. He tells her to stay close and she will, because she wants to please her general, her country, her privates—everyone she's ever known.

She feels small and weak in the face of Nicolai, but she reminds herself that's she's a lieutenant and she's _powerful_. She has to be, even if she's never fought demons before.

In the tower's winding maze of staircases and prison cells, Karin swings at demons with her sword, striking them down. But Nicolai blinds them, makes them burn in white, blessed light. He's stepping in for God, becoming the human face of a deity, damning these demons for good.

The light is warm against Karin, like the lantern left in her nursery, and the spell leaves light humming in her heart. She becomes dependent on Nicolai's light to lead her through.

If he moves too fast or she moves too slow, she will stop, fearful, in the darkness. He'll take her hand and she'll try to remember—_this is wrong, it's not professional, he must think I'm hopeless_—but he smiles at her like it's nothing. He says, calmly, with that smooth accented voice of his, that there's nothing to worry about.

She believes him, as everyone else has before. And they continue to go up, ascending the stairway, led by damned light.


End file.
